In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
