i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
