you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
