I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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