Im at strip club and am horny
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
