guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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