For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
