How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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