She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
