Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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