Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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