i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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