You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
