if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
