I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Found the puke drawer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
