His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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