Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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