I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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