Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
