I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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