I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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