He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
