Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
