its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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