i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
