Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
As shirtless as possible
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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