Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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