The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
