i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
