Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
