i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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