That's intense
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
