So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
two words: eviction party
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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