is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
