We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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