She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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