ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
