Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
