Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
