There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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