Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize