So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
