Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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