Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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