Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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