Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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