I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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