she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I skipped work to stalk him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize