I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
