I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
