We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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