and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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