Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize