he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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