you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
