Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
