And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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